Puzzle Pieces 

Wanting a deeper connection with my husband and daughters, I committed to spending more time with them, My goal was to just be with them, and not necessarily have to be doing anything of value. Time together became my goal as well as my reward.

With that in mind, my youngest daughter and I luxuriated in putting together jigsaw puzzles. Not one, but 5 in one week’s time. Each of the 500 piece puzzles came with their own challenges, and some were certainly more demanding than others. I marveled at Mia’s tenacity as we laughed and at times commiserated together.

A few times I got stuck, completely stuck. I knew which puzzle piece I wanted to find. I studied what shape the piece should be, and exactly which colors. My brain chatter went something like this: “It needs to have two round things sticking out, and one of them needs to be green and the other one red, with white in between.” I then set out to systematically search for the desired puzzle piece. Time and time again I was stumped. How could that be? I knew exactly what the piece should look like, but it wasn’t there. Maybe we lost a few pieces? After about 10 minutes of concentrated looking, I would give up and move to another area of the puzzle.

Eventually, I would find the piece that I had been looking for previously and knew was supposed to have “two round things sticking out, one of them green and the other one red, with white in between.” But instead, the piece that fit had two round things, one of them was green-brown and the other one red-burgundy, with light brown in-between. That piece was nothing like what I had set my mind on finding.

It turned out that my expectations were not only off, but they were also extremely limiting. By focusing on only what I expected, I missed seeing the fitting piece when I held it in my hand. I finally heard the message that was quite slow to sink in. How many times in life do I sabotage myself by thinking I know exactly how something is supposed to happen, and then when it comes to me looking different, I don’t recognize it and discard it? Lesson learned: stop the demanding expectations and be open to unlimited possibilities!