The months leading up to my 50th birthday were somewhat traumatic; in fact I faced the day white 
knuckled, kicking and screaming and with an impending sense of dread. Turning 55, by contrast, was effortless and inviting. What had happened in those years to calm my inner angst?
Three years ago I began my journey to understand and embrace Spirit, clairvoyance and healing. As a result of inner work, I have been able to embrace my past, recognize familial and cultural programming, and let go of energy and emotions that were not mine to own. I have shifted my (albeit Americanized) perceptions about aging, and have come to respect wisdom with experience: my own wisdom built on trial and error and years and years of experience.
I have breakfast once a week with my also-retired colleagues whom I have come to know and love over the years. I look around the table and I do not look for evidence of physical aging, rather, I see a combined commitment of more than 120 years at the worksite, all with the intent of making the lives of others more manageable.
I sit with Helen, Constance and Jean and I see an artist, a gun control activist, and a social worker. Our conversations are rich with personal introspection, current events, political musings, concern for loved ones and support for each other. What a rich, rich gift I give myself weekly to bask in friendship and steep in heartfelt conversations.
If given the chance to be 10 years younger, I would never go back. The inner peace and wisdom I have gained by knowing Spirit came at the same time as some wrinkles were forming. I look in the mirror and see a woman who has gained in inner value and proudly earned each of her years.
I have learned to embrace the term crone for myself. Not the skinny, ugly, ill-tempered crone as sometimes portrayed in fairy tales. But the wise, comfortable in her skin, old soul who can share compassion as well as counsel, and who doesn’t have to look a certain way in order to feel ok about herself.
I stumbled across Crone Magazine (for women of all ages). If you are embracing your inner crone, check out this e-magazine for some thought-provoking ideas.